Most people who sexually assault a child say that it just happened. Even I believed that at first. But, after my studies on the subject, I have come to understand that I did have thoughts about what I was to later do, prior to it happening. This is called "Grooming". What this says is that the sexual abuse of a child is most often a planned event. Now, other factors may have triggered this desire and activated this plan, but is is a plan. Grooming or "setting up" a child to be the victim of sexual assault can be subtle or overt. Once an offender or potential offender recognizes that this planning is a fact of his offenses, he will be better able to get help and overcome the behavior. For the caregiver of a potential victim, some of the things that you should watch for are: 1) Talking about sexual issues. 2) Giving information of a sexual nature that is inappropriate for the child's age (i.e., talking about masturbation to a young child or allowing them to view pornography). 3) Not respecting a child's boundaries or privacy (i.e., rule that bedroom and bathroom doors must be open or invasions of diaries without undue provocation). 4) Bringing yourself down to child's level (becoming child's buddy). These are just a few of the ways that someone who might sexually abuse a child grooms them. This grooming information came from an essay/article by Ken Singer, LCSW.
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